Setting Computer Limits Tips
Is your child addicted?
- 8-10% of Internet users have "compulsive bursts" according to the Center for Online Addiction
- Missing meals or losing sleep are warning signs for computer addiction
- Nearly 3 out of 4 parents with kids 9 and up who use the Internet at home say they know "a lot" about what their kids are doing online
Advice and Answers
How much is too much time online?
Computer addiction is tough to define. When your child spends a large amount of time at the computer, are they addicted or do they simply enjoy being online? Perhaps it’s easier to frame it like this: Can your child enjoy himself – and all those things that aren’t online – when he’s away from the computer? If you’re not sure, just start observing his computer habits and moods.What is it?
All kids have trouble turning off the computer. Instant Messaging with friends seems so important, games like Runescape and World of Warcraft capture players’ attention and time, a lot of it. And virtual worlds like Club Penguin or Teen Second Life can be equally engrossing. But some kids go beyond procrastinating – they just can’t turn the computer off. You can tell the difference in how a child acts when the computer is taken away – withdrawn, moody, and uncommunicative. (Not the usual teen sulk, but a condition that goes away when your child is back online.)Why it matters
The part of kids’ brains that contain mental off-switches aren’t fully developed until kids reach their early 20s. That means they need rules and structure to help them turn off the computer. Developing children need to be able to have real lives independent of their cyber ones to fully develop socially, emotionally, and even physically. While some kids may blossom in the freedom and anonymity of online lives, they also need the interpersonal skills that online life can’t provide.
Computer dependency can also mask problems kids are having in the real world. Dr. Maressa Hecht Orzack, director of the Computer Addiction Study Center at Boston’s McLean Hospital, says she sees concerned parents – and their kids, mostly boys 11 to 19 – who think their kids are addicted. These kids aren’t developing the coping mechanisms they will need to live life happily and successfully.
Parent tips
- Establish good habits early. Kids need guidelines and rules about what is a good amount of time to spend on the computer. A good rule of thumb for elementary kids is no more than an hour a day during the week. Allotting computer time in 15- or 30-minute increments gives you a chance to check in and suggest that it's time for a break.
- Make sure middle school kids know that homework must be finished before they look at YouTube videos or Instant Message the latest gossip.
- Determine if your child has an addiction or if he or she is simply spending too much time online. What happens when your child is away from the computer? Are they argumentative, depressed? Is there a marked change when they are online?
- If you suspect a dependency, have a heart-to-heart. You need to have a real discussion with your kids about your concerns. This, plus some serious guidelines, may normalize the behavior. If the problem continues, or you think the computer time is masking depression or anxiety, see your primary care physician right away. Also, check in with the school counselor and see if there is something going on at school.
- Don’t take away the computer. This may seem like the best solution, but it can be very damaging to addicted players, who may feel like playing games is the only thing that brings them any enjoyment. Removing the computer can make them depressed, and possibly even violent.
- Don’t hesitate to get professional help. Addictions are hard to break and dependencies can often be a child’s only coping skill.
um on the weekends im allowed alot but on weekdays either no computer or like 20 minutes of it
Agreed, 24 hours of World of Warcraft is a bit excessive - I manage to at least take cigarette breaks and perhaps eat now and again.
I've taking control of my own time spent on the internet, and time spent doing other things. I admit I spend a lot of my time on the computer, but I balance it out by eating healthy, and weight training-exercising or going out someplace each day. Sometimes you have to let your own child decide what is good for himself as he/she gets older and grows up as a teen. Most likely, a mature teen (age can be as young as 14 I would guess) will somewhat balance his time out on his own if you give him just a bit of guidance. Although I love all the stuff that most other teens would (adult humor, violent games, "sexy" stuff) I am not the stereotypical "evil" and "disrespecting" teenager you would think. Too much time would be when your child would rather sit on the computer than help you do chores when you tell him, or if he is getting overly upset if you tell him to stop for a while.
The computer can be a tricky one. If we're watching YouTube videos (the musical numbers from Singin in the Rain are a favorite of my 4 year old) I tell him in advance that we'll watch 4 videos. If he's playing a Little Einstein game, I warn him "one more time." That way it gives him a certain amount of control by knowing when it's time to stop.
If you child disobeyed your rules, you can punish him and not let him use the computer for a certain period of time. It is important that you establish connection with them and know their interest and support them in a way that they will feel your concern and love.
Some time ago my child spent all his free time surfing the web and my husband and I decided to restrict Internet access. I bought internet filtering software called Ez Internet Timer. It can stop all children’s on-line activity and block Internet browsers, e-mails, ftps or messengers according to my daily schedule.
But today Internet contains an enormous amount of information that can be offensive to adults, and unsuitable and sometimes downright dangerous to children, so we are thinking about purchasing of another application from IT Works Corporation - Ez Parental Control (powerful and very easy). It will protect my child by restricting access to any website url such as adult content.