Music and Your Kids Tips
Now's a great time to tune in
- A 2006 Rand study found that kids aged 12 to 17 who listened to music with sexually degrading lyrics were more likely to have sex sooner
- In a study of college students, violent lyrics were shown to increase aggressive thoughts and behavior
Advice and Answers
Now’s a great time to tune in.
Nearly nothing comes between kids and their music. But music has really changed. (Before you get too critical, remember it wasn’t all that long ago that people wanted to ban the Beatles!) Know what your kids are listening to, and listen along with them. After all, music is expression – good or bad – and being open to it goes a long way with your kids.What is it?
Downloads, videos, and MP3s. Most of our kids’ music now comes via the Internet. No more album covers strewn about their rooms. Social networks like MySpace launch artists, and kids link to artists’ pages and download songs to their own pages.
Videos appear for free or are available for downloads. Music gets swapped with friends. Most middle school kids know how to burn a CD, download music, and use file-sharing software (legal and illegal), all of which often bypasses parents completely.
Music is central to play-along and sing-along games like Guitar Hero and Rock Band. And software that allows kids to create and compose their own tunes is increasingly affordable, encouraging creativity and expression.
Why it matters
Music is a powerful medium. It can help quieter kids reveal things they normally can’t. It can express emotions turbulent adolescents may not be able to voice. It’s also at the center of many social interactions and popularculture movements.
Studies have repeatedly shown that kids are impacted by the music they listen to. Given the power of music and its potent messages, parents need to decide what their kids are ready for – and help them decode what they hear.
Music with explicit content is labeled online, but it’s not enforceable. Sometimes what kids listen to is ageappropriate, but even those songs can feature racy or violent lyrics, and glorify drinking, drug use, or violent behavior.
Parent tips for elementary school kids
- Stick to tame pop music. Because a child will sing along with whatever you select, make sure you select music with lyrics you won’t mind them repeating if you aren’t around.
- Hold off on the iPods and MP3 players. Do you really want to hand your child an expensive gadget that could get left somewhere or go through the laundry? If they want to listen to music in the car, give them your MP3 player. Try audiobooks from the library to supplement music.
- Play your favorite music for kids and enjoy together. The Beatles? Heaven for kids. Why not share your oldies but goodies and start them off with the classics.
Parent tips for middle and high school kids
- Do your homework before your kids buy CDs or downloaded music. Read some reviews – including those on the Common Sense Media’s music channel – or take a look at the lyrics on sites like lyricsdepot.com or sing365.com.
- Make some rules. Make sure you agree on what kind of music they can download. Sites like iTunes also allow you to create an allowance for your kids so they can purchase at will – but remember, if you do this, they are buying without your oversight. If you do decide to create an allowance, check which songs and videos have been downloaded. Let your kids know that you will check their music and video downloads. (Under the “view” section of your online music store, you can click the “date added” box to instantly check for any new song or video.) If the content is explicit, you’ll know right away because it says so on the display.
- Enjoy music with your teens. Mortify them by playing Guitar Hero with them. Ask your son to plug in his iPod on the next family road trip, or have your daughter burn you a CD of her music for your car. Not only will you get a better idea about what they’re being exposed to, but also by showing interest in their world, they might be more open to hearing your opinions.
- Discuss music messages. If you don’t like the messages, try to open a discussion without being too judgmental – nothing will make a kid defensive faster. It’s important that children are able to challenge what they hear, but they won’t be likely to do it if they think you hate all their music.
- Ask questions. Don’t let music just wash over your kids – instead teach them to be critical of music’s messages. Each of our reviews comes with a Common Sense Note, which provides parents with ideas about how to talk to their kids about music.
I really am so upset about how sexually explicit music has become. I understand that poplular music has always had some racy-ness to it but now it is all about booty, riding, grinding, being on you, and the like. Most of the rap tunes I hear my son play do not even mention love in these songs, its more like "I met her last Sat nite and now she"s texting me because she wants to sex me". It is very apparent that these songs forcus on women as objects there only for male pleasure. This is so wrong! Are there any organizations out there that may be able to have some influence on what is released? I know that's a tall order but I sure do wish the music industry would stop releasing songs with all the srearing and descriptive and demeaning sex talk!
hmm...not so sure i agree with much thats written in this blog. music is music. let 'em listen. their choice of music is their choice. not parents'
REALLY!!!!! they will listen to it anyway so jus BACKOFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When you hate a song your kid likes, you do nothing and let them listen to it. If you try to take it away, they will only listen to worse and worse songs just to rebel against you. Even if you take away everything they have, they still hear the songs at school, and repeat them in their heads, and in the process get even angrier at you for limiting their freedoms.
Pop is not the way. Pop can be as bad as guns and roses but oh well. Really let them listen to whatever they want unless...you want them to hate you and make fun of you.
The Advise For Middle And High Schoolers It So Stupid.
Let Your Kids Listen To Whatever They Want.
Well, one of the things you have to remember is that ever since the 50s, there's an almost institutionalized gender gap. (For instance, Benny Goodman was universally popular - Elvis was not.) Resultantly,you have to bear in mind that the music your kids are going to like is NOT what you like. Some might be - Michael Jackson for instance, but there are always going to be exceptions to the rule. So you kind of have to let them listen to what they like, but also impose a sort of democratic atmosphere when it comes to the noise they make. For instance, when I was a teenager, neither myself or my sister was allowed to blast the stuff they we were into but not everyone else was, and if we wanted something to play on the main stereo, we had to select something everyone liked - I had it relatively easy, because I love a lot of classic rock, and since that was the era my parents grew up in...it's also easier to talk Dad into putting Jimmy Buffett or Alice Cooper on during car trips than the Backstreet Boys, which also worked in my favor. However, you can't convince anyone to listen to Metallica, which is when the portable CD player and headphones comes in handy.
However, when it comes to the content, there's only so much control you can exert, and it also depends on your childrens' personalities - some kids are going to gravitate more towards Top 40 fluff, some kids are going to be into jazz or classical, and then you can also end up with the teen metalhead or punk rocker (totally me - and I STILL listen to Slayer!) Eventually, you have to face the reality that there's only so much you're going to be able to do, and the iron fist won't work forever. (Some are born to rebel, and they will.) The only thing you can really do is get them to understand that entertainment is just entertainment, and it isn't to be taken too seriously or literally. It's the same with video games and movies - they are going to see it or hear it eventually, and you have to prepare them to be handle things in a mature and rational fashion. The Spice Girls will eventually not suffice.
i really only listen to eletronica stuff like daft punk
Thanks for the advice; maintaining close relationship with our children is a must. We can lessen the gap and our kids will be more open on how they feel and what they feel now or even in the future. Hope to see more updates. In relation to show business, Susan Boyle is in the headlines again. Susan Boyle has been hospitalized due to exhaustion after losing the finale of Britain's Got Talent to a dance troupe -not to Jonny Wilkinsons' right boot. In other news – and some would give no faxing payday loans to never hear about it again – Kim Kardashian has picked out an engagement ring, but she isn't engaged. Her boyfriend, Reggie Bush, evidently laid down the cash for it. Her stepfather, Bruce Jenner, deserves more celebrity, as an Olympic champion decathlete, but for whatever reason, people still get easy loans to find out more about her and Susan Boyle, (See also: http://personalmoneystore.com/moneyblog/2009/06/01/susan-boyle-hospitali... ) when they could get lives.
i think your write thiis
m m m i think racy music is so uncool
easy, don't. Let them listen to whatever they want. It's really that simple. You shouldn't let your kids stop listening to music because you dislike it. It's rude and selfish. Plus your'e going to make them really defensive, and feel bad about themselves, like they dissapointed you in some way by listening to this music. Really, just ignore it.