Instant Messaging Tips
DU HAV A CLU?
- Kids admit to spending 7% of their time Instant Messaging while they're doing their homework
- Of kids who are cyberbullied, 40% say it happened while Instant Messaging
- Monitoring software exists that allows parents to capture messages without their kids knowing
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Advice and Answers
DU HAV A CLU?
Your kids‘ fingers are furiously clicking away on their phone or keyboard. But what are they saying, and who to? Ways of communicating have definitely changed, and young people are at the forefront of new ways to do it. Here we explain some of the most popular ways kids chat, and how you can help them stay safe and smart. Because when it comes to kids and technology, you can never have TMI.What is it?
Instant messaging, known as IM, allows for text or video talk in real time. Kids do it through AOL’s AIM, Gtalk, MySpace or Facebook IM, iChat, and now, their phones. Kids text chat with one or more friends in short bursts in IM slang (R U OK?). It’s shorthand that often seems like a secret code.
Kids create anonymous screen names (SNs) so that they can communicate without necessarily revealing who they are. They get “buddies” and add them to buddy lists so they can instantly see who is available to chat at any time. Newer computers come with built-in cameras enabling visual IM. Video chats can be way more revealing due to the nature of what happens to kids when a camera is turned on them. But it’s also a nice way to say hello to distant friends and relatives.
Why it matters
Starting in middle school, IM can be a great way for kids to connect with one another. But it also can be a major time waster and homework interrupter. IM is a really powerful and fast way to spread information, and the anonymity of IM-ing allows kids to try on different behaviors and personalities. Cautious kids can become outspoken – which is positive. But kids can also use IM’s relative anonymity to spread cruel or embarrassing gossip. It’s easy to take a confidence from an IM conversation and cut and paste it into another and send it to the world.Parent tips for all kids
- Keep them safe. Make sure that kids know to never give out their real names, phone numbers, addresses, or the name of their schools to people online.
- Keep it real. Kids should know the people they are IM-ing in real life. Friends of friends of friends can be creepy predators. Remind them to have healthy skepticism about anyone introduced that way. Consider running through their buddy lists with them periodically to make sure they can tell you something personal about each buddy on that list.
Parent tips for elementary school kids
- We don’t recommend elementary school kids use IM. They don’t have the maturity to use it wisely.
Parent tips for middle school kids
- Keep kids’ doors open. Better yet, keep the computer in a central place. This will help kids stick to your rules about time, and help you monitor who they are chatting with. And if your kids are using visual chat? Make sure they are dressed right and only showing unidentifiable places in the home.
- Set use rules. Set firm rules about time and place. Make sure they know that they aren’t allowed to chat and do homework at the same time. Reinforce rules about online behavior. No sex talk, no trash talk, and no rumors.
- Keep IM at home. Minimize IM by keeping it on a computer. If it gets to their phones, they are never going to be disconnected.
Parent tips for high school kids
- Have standards. However they are communicating, kids have to know what is and isn’t okay. Set rules about violent talk, sexual talk, and bullying behavior. They may not seem to be hearing you, but it’s very important that you make your expectations clear about what is and isn’t acceptable.
This website is so ridiculous.
It states in another article that kids don't talk dace-to-face anymore, only in cyberspace, and this article reiterates that.
Okay, you ban your kid from IMing, texting, and all other forms of online/non-physical communication. Good job, you can sleep at night and tell all your friends what a good parent you are.
So, you're banning them from school too, right? I mean, how else are you going to "protect" them?
My best friend doesn't have texting. We talk about whatever we want face-to-face all the time. Verbal communication still happens. Get over yourselves, you are all psycho hovermoms.
holdon...backup...
ok, so you'll watch them and make sure they dont talk about sex online. how about school breaks or playdates? come on guys, kids talk ALL THE TIME about WHATEVER THEY WANT.
and the whole "stay away from texting thing?" every kid with a phone texts. get over it
Instant messaging is FINE! LET THEM TALK ABOUT WHAT THEY WANT SO THEY DONT HATE YOU.
CommonSenseMedia.org = >:(
(I currently lack the passionate, descriptive nature in my efforts to write a thorough comment after hassling with numerous others of CommonSenseMedia's blunders tonight).
Set guidelines. With our teen-age daughter, the phone was to be left on the kitchen table when she was doing her homework.
We also found she was IMing during the night when she was suppose to be sleeping. We put a remote control holder on the kitchen table where all cell phones were put each night. There happened to be a charger beside the table so it became a convenient place to charge them.