Talking to Kids About TV Role Models
I have a confession: I actually use Gossip Girl as a life guide. Not for me, I'm a bit beyond the outrageous behavior and over-the-top consumerism. But I admit I use the teen soap's ridiculous plots as a great way to have non-loaded discussions with my 15-year-old son about touchy subjects like sex, drugs, and alcohol. Goodness knows he won't talk to me about his life -- he is a teen boy, after all. And he's going to watch these sex and alcohol laden shows with or without me.
I realize that I have a choice: I can let him make sense of this stuff on his own, or I can shoe-horn my way in so I can infuse my values into his entertainment. Ie can point out that, in real life, kids actually think long and hard about losing their virginity, rather than making such a monumental decision in the equivalent of one episode. Ican observe that acting out carries huge consequences, that there are ways to have fun without going to a bar and getting hammered, and that kids don't have to wear designer clothes, be anorexic, or have six-pack abs to be attractive. We actually discuss how every character is a caricature -- dumbed-down, juiced-up versions of teen life. But even so, watching together gives me an opportunity to speculate with him about what would really happen if they spent that much, drank that much, or had that much(seemingly unprotected) sex with random classmates.
It doesn't always work, but 8 out of 10 times, we have a good talk or I learn something about his life I wouldn't have known. So, if this appeals to you, here are some questions you can ask:
Do you see your life in these shows?
How about the characters? Are they like kids you know? If so, how? If not, why not?
Do you believe the characters are really in high school?
When you see someone acting out, drinking, drugging, or hooking up in one of these shows, does it make the behavior seem silly or normal?
How about all the "things" and clothes in these shows? Does seeing them make you want them?
Do you learn anything by watching what happens to these characters, or is it all mindless entertainment and guilty pleasure?
What do you think is creeping in, message-wise?
