Don't Let Jon and Kate Teach Your Kids About Divorce
In a perfect world, you'd probably never have to talk to your kids about Jon and Kate Gosselin's pending divorce. But since they dragged their eight children into their 15-seconds-of-fame reality show, viewers now face a decision about what to say to their own kids about what happens to families when marriages end. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that few will hold the Gosselins up as role models. But this is what our kids are seeing. They see it on TV, online, on magazine covers. While they know that "reality" shows aren't so "real," these shows still have a real impact. So how do we make sure that "reality" shows don't shape our own kids' impressions?
In a perfect world, you'd probably never have to talk to your kids about Jon and Kate Gosselin's pending divorce. But since they dragged their eight children into their 15-seconds-of-fame reality show, viewers now face a decision about what to say to their own kids about what happens to families when marriages end. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that few will hold the Gosselins up as role models. But this is what our kids are seeing. They see it on TV, online, on magazine covers. While they know that "reality" shows aren't so "real," these shows still have a real impact. So how do we make sure that "reality" shows don't shape our own kids' impressions?
The answer lies in making sure that we have a talk with our kids so that they hear our own messages about life, not just the media's. For example, with Jon and Kate, it's important that we remind our kids that this is just a show, and it only reflects one family's reality. In fact, every family is different, and each has different circumstances, experiences, and values when it comes to ending marriages. Whatever else they are, reality show meltdowns like the Jon and Kate divorce do provide teachable moments. Maybe they're ones you'd rather not address, but if you don't, you're letting your kids learn from TV personalities instead (probably not a good idea). Instead, why not do the following:
- Talk to your kids about how unreal reality shows are. They may not be scripted, but ask kids how they'd act with a camera in their faces 24/7. Also talk about the fact they're only seeing one hour out of 24. What got left out? Could an incident look totally different if different material was included?
- As far as Jon and Kate go, ask your kids what they know about or think of divorce. If your kids are watching the show, they should be old enough to have some opinions or experience on the subject.
- If your family has been through a divorce, talking with your kids about what they think will happen to the Gosselin kids could be very revealing -- and lead to some great discussions.
- Impress on your kids that every family is different, with different experiences and reasons for divorce. And, by all means, pass along your own personal feelings and wisdom on the topic.
i dont like jon i feel bad for kate and the kids
sad
I am a divorced parent, and when my kids were made aware of the Jon/Kate situation, I just talked with them about it, reiterating that everyone's situation is different, that it is sad and a shame that their troubles have become so public, but I did point out to them that they, as adults, could have made wiser choices about airing their issues in public. Also, I reassured my children that although every marriage goes through difficult times, it is communication, and compromise and the choices you make and the tools you choose to help your marriage, rather than destroy it.. that make the difference. Knowing that sometimes, things don't work out, and divorce is necessary.. it is also important to make kids aware that media sometimes 'highlights' all the negative, or looks like one person is worse than the other.. much like gossip... can't believe everything!!
TRUST ME!! YUR KIDS ARE NOT GONNA LOOK UP TO THEM!!
IM 11 AND THEY ARE FARSTEST THING FRM MY ROLE MODELS!!
I think that any reality show is not appropriate for children. They do terrible things to each other, talk and do things "behind eachothers backs" the language and sexual content is not approriate. And unfortunately Jon and Kate is no exception. The language and the way the mother speaks to the kids, spouse and others in not a role model that I would want my child to see. Unfortunately, the commericals for the show are everywhere and they are just as bad as the show. My daughter has never seen the show and yet knows all about it??? Just yesterday after a commercial came on highlighting the divorce she and a friend discuessed it and it was eye opening. At 9 years old they had no idea what was going on and yet thought that they did. Their ideas about what was going on and divorce were so wrong, based on the show. They also blamed it on having so many kids, "who wouldn't want a divorce with so many kids?". It was very scarry as a parent to hear there perceptions based on a TV show. I had a long conversation about divorce and the fact that the show was not "real" and that every family has it own challenges. I am disappointed that such a show is on a "learning" network that has such other great shows. I hate TV reality shows and TV commericals. The commericals are on during kids shows and are not rated.
If I were in Jon and Kate's situation, I would have immediately cancelled this season, and gone into family/marital counseling. I believe they continue solely to give their children a good future, home, opportunities, but let's face it... is all that worth what they are going through now? It's all very sad and the parents choices to continue and not work on making it "work" is a reflection of their poor priorities.
All that being said, if this is done in an appropriate way, with the family going into counseling and really working together through this situation, they could be positive role models to other children who may watch and are going through these situation in their lives.
Honestly, I think Jon and Kate is harmless. Sad to see them let this happen as there are mistakes on both sides of the marriage. Whose marriage hasn't had its hard times? I think the important thing is to teach our kids to try hard to work things out. As far as most other reality tv, most of it is trash. You can't even watch the new Superstars one without adult professional people behaving like 2 year olds. WE NEED TO BE OUR CHILDREN'S ROLL MODELS.